O-Limp-Icks

OPINION — Just in case you haven’t been following the summer Olympics currently taking place in Paris, France, I’ve decided to offer an update on the proceedings, as a public service. So far it’s largely been a dumpster fire. And not the good kind, with exploding paint cans and toxic fumes and all that fun stuff.

The actual events have been somewhat entertaining, although the United States, which is the country I live in, is only in seventh place as of this writing. China is in the lead, followed by France, which inexplicably has not yet surrendered to Germany. Japan and Australia are third and fourth, respectively, despite the fact the judges keep mistaking Australia for Austria, which is in Switzerland someplace. Ukraine is tied for last place with Greece, Slovakia, and Tajikistan, but I’m surprised they managed to round up a team at all, what with Putin doing his best to turn their country into a smoking hole. Other countries are also there, but nobody cares.

I’m being flippant, but in truth I have a lot of respect for the athletes. They spend years training and sweating and grunting in preparation for what often turns out to be mere seconds of competition, and what happens during those seconds often comes to define the rest of their lives. They sacrifice and forego a normal existence for the opportunity to represent their countries before the world, hoping to present their best performances. And often as not they end up being criticized and sneered at by torpid bozos sitting on their couches covered with a thin layer of Cheetos dust and a thick layer of lethargy.

You’d think, considering the efforts of the athletes and the importance they place on being allowed to compete, the organizers of the event could leave politics out of the whole shebang. You’d think they could act like adults and just honor the competitors, and avoid turning the games into a charade of progressive wokeness. You’d think it would be possible to support the athletes, who have invested so much of their lives, without pushing modern misotheism, and without making a spectacle of depravity. You’d be wrong. Dumpster fire.

The opening ceremonies were designed specifically and intentionally to offend Christians, from an almost naked pudgy guy painted Smurf-blue, with his credentials peeking out of his skimpy loin cloth, to a host of drag queens arranged behind a long table reminiscent of DaVinci’s Last Supper painting, complete with a grinning obese woman strategically seated in place of Jesus. It was exactly the kind of thing we’ve come to expect from the left, but smearing the integrity of the time-honored, international Olympic games with that kind of depraved scene was beyond the pale. Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Once the outcry began, which was immediate, the left started backpedaling, claiming the Last Supper scene was not a portrayal of DaVinci’s work, but a recreation of Dutch painting of the Olympic gods. Which was pretty embarrassing to begin with, but there was also the fact that the Jesus-impersonating woman posted a picture on social media of the blasphemous scene over a picture of DaVinci’s Last Supper, with the caption ‘Oh yes! Oh yes! The new gay testament.’ I guess we kind of needed a new one. The old new testament hasn’t been used a lot lately.

Besides that, the Olympic opening ceremonies producers stated that ceremonies director ‘Thomas Jolly took inspiration from Leonardo DaVinci’s famous painting to create the setting.’ And then there was the title of that particular sequence in the show, which was ‘La Cene sur la scene sur la Seine.’ Which is French for ‘The Last Supper on the stage on the River Seine.’ Even the Olympic gods are embarrassed. And they never really existed.