Vegans With a Beef


OPINION — After a column I wrote about vegans recently, I received a few notes from people who wanted to let me know, in the kindest possible way, that I’m a horrible, bloodthirsty neanderthal who is destroying the planet, torturing animals, and destroying the planet, in that order. They also informed me that, because I eat meat, I’m at greater risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and hemorrhoids, and I should stop to improve my health. Plus they want me to die. Painfully and slowly, if possible. Twice.

But the column wasn’t about all vegans, it was only about veganistas, which is a different bunch from your average, everyday, garden variety vegan. Yes, that was a pun, since pretty much all vegans are garden variety. I apologize.



Most vegans, I think, are probably nice folks who mind their own business, choose to avoid meat and fish and dairy products for their own reasons, and don’t get their cotton socks in a wad when they happen to run across a barbarian like me, who requires an animal sacrifice to obtain a meal. And I have no quarrel with such people, especially since I can leave a bacon sandwich unattended in their presence without fear of losing it. But some vegans go a little overboard, in the sense that David slightly damaged Goliath.

Veganistas aren’t vegan just because they think it’s healthier for them. They’re vegan because they honestly believe people who eat meat are causing global warming, torturing puppies, depleting the ozone layer, drastically raising air pollution levels, filling the oceans with non-biodegradable plastics, wasting millions of gallons of water annually, burning way too much fossil fuel, and littering. Their attitude is offensive to me on a personal level. Because I don’t litter.



These folks don’t just think the world would be better off if no one ate meat, they think it’s absolutely essential that we stop, or else everyone on earth will die. Veganism, for veganistas, is not a preferred lifestyle, it’s a religion. And not a normal religion, where you quietly worship as you choose, and respect the right of others to do the same. Veganistaism is a cult, and if you eat meat you’re Satan, with a little Trump thrown in for good measure. Or maybe the other way around, depending on which one they think is worse this week.

To veganistas, eating a steak is the direct equivalent of cannibalism, ranching is enslavement, and dairy farms are literally Auschwitz. Not figuratively. They really believe humans and animals have the exact same value, including those little dogs that look like they ran into a closed door too many times. Pugs? I think they’re called pugs. The ugly ones with the mashed-in faces.

Anyway, I decided to do a little research, to see if I could figure out how someone gets to the point they don’t see any difference between a puppy and a child. So I started following a couple of veganista Facebook pages, which I figured might be fairly painful. It turned out to be marginally excruciating. One is called The Hopeful Herbivore, and the other is called Totally Vegan Buzz. I can honestly recommend either, if you need a good laugh and a good cry at the same time.

Scroll just a little bit on either page, and it becomes obvious these people have a major chip on their shoulder. It’s an all-natural, gluten-free, air-baked chip, of course. None of those evil, hate chips fried in animal fat for this bunch. Their posts don’t just support the vegan lifestyle, which would be fine, they make it clear how much better they are than you, and how you surely hate the planet and everyone on it if you don’t agree with everything they claim about veganism. They believe they’re not just healthier, saner, better looking, and better adjusted than you, but actually superior individuals, morally, ethically, socially, environmentally, politically, and every other lly you might think of. And they’re smarter, too. If you were as intelligent as they are, you’d be one of them. You’re just too dumb to realize how dumb you are, you pathetic loser. No offense.



One post made fun of people who claim that, if we all went vegan, animals would overpopulate, since no one would be eating them. That’s evidently a ridiculous idea. So I politely asked why the animals wouldn’t over populate. I got blasted as an idiot for the question, but no one could answer it. I’m just supposed to believe it because the smart people say it’s true. And I have to admit they almost convinced me just by the impressive amount of profanity they used to make their case. I had no idea smart people cussed so much, but there you go.

So now I’m vegan, because I don’t want to be remembered by history as the man who singlehandedly destroyed western civilization through cannibalism and chronic halitosis, not to mention hurting peoples’ feelings. But I’m doing veganism my way. I’m a second-hand vegan. I only eat animals that only eat plants.

Hey, if Bruce Jenner can create his own reality, so can I . . .

Kendal Hemphill is an outdoor humor columnist and minister who likes his vegan ribeye medium, thanks. Write to him at [email protected]

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ME Someone, Thu, 06/24/2021 - 14:33

Don't forget that if you are anonymous and speak your first amendment rights here Kendal Hemphill thinks you are a coward. He also wants to threaten and harass people that have their own opinions of his "articles" that he does not like. He won't even answer any questions unless you give him your real name, no doubt so he can send someone to persuade you to have a better opinion of you, seems he takes his tactics from russia. How being a coward for exercising your right to free speech even makes any sense is anyone but a republicans guess, you know how much they hate the constitution.

"When you give me your real name, I'll think about responding to you.

But you won't, because you're a coward." -Kendal Hemphill

Well, now. not only are you a coward, but you're also a liar. I directed certain statements to you, and no one else. Now you're applying them to everyone. Kind of socialist thinking, I guess.

I support your right to free speech. I also support my right to the same free speech. and to disagree with you and to ignore you if that's what I decide to do. I support your right not to read my columns, and I encourage you to exercise that right.

I have never threatened you or anyone else, and I have never harassed you or anyone else. You want to whine about my columns, but you don't seem to want me to be allowed to rebut your statements or disagree with you. You're welcome to your opinions, but you don't seem to think I'm allowed to have differing opinions.

Now you're assuming I want your name so I can 'send someone to persuade you to have a better opinion of me.' You're trying to imply I've threatened you, when I have not, nor will I.

This is typical of leftists. They usually assume everyone else is the same as they are, and that everyone else would deal with an issue just like they would. And to be clear, since you seem to enjoy putting words in my mouth, I did not say you are a leftist. I said this is typical of leftists. Claiming I've called you something when I have not is another tactic of leftism.

So, bottom line, you're a whiny, annoying crybaby who can't seem to figure out that you'd be happier just avoiding my column, and when you can't do that, you decide to complain to me about what I've written. All that is also your right, but those are things that make people miserable. According to Winston Churchill, the equal sharing of misery is the inherent virtue of socialism. So I guess we're back to that.

I won't reply to you again. And in an effort to take my own advice, I won't read anything you write again, which will make me happier. I hope you have a nice life, and eventually get that huge object removed from your backside, whatever it is. Good luck.

ME Someone, Fri, 06/25/2021 - 18:27

"not only are you a coward, but you're also a liar" , "you're a whiny, annoying crybaby" -Kendal Hemphill

You see, I have already won. Typical of republicans, when they have no actual rebuttal they have to make a (poor) attempt at insulting someone who exercised their right to free speech, which republicans hate. That is the state of the republican party, attempt to insult because they lack the education to actually for any coherent argument. Just read Kendal's "articles" for proof of the lack of education and the hatred for their fellow Americans. He did call certain Americans "subspecies" afterall. On a side note, you said last time you would not respond to me, so I guess I am still winning in the fight against republican's hatred for the first amendment.

It's also interesting that you claim that I am a "coward" for not disclosing my real name, but all the people who agree with you and also do not disclose their real names are not "cowards". If that isn't just proof of republican cult mentality I don't know what is.

I'll give you a challenge though Mr. Hemphill, if you can come up with a legitimate reason why I should disclose my real name, and how it would add any validity or prove anything, I may just do so. But I suspect it is just the same as when cops ask for your ID, it doesn't prove a crime has been (or has not been) committed, or change the situation in any way, they just want your information to harass and do harm.

Guessing you prefer the term “deplorables” isn’t that the term your hero Hillary called anyone and everyone in the Republican party?

Or maybe the term “white supremacists”…something else those on the left are constantly spewing lately ;)

Apparently you don’t understand the context of what Kendall was saying…which doesn’t surprise me since you lack the intelligence to comprehend, and instead attribute it to a “lack of education” which you obviously know nothing about.

Typical elitist liberal! Never taking into account that someone with conservative views may very well be “smarter” than you…which imo doesn’t take a lot ;)

So you’re assuming, because Kendall has conservative views, that he is less educated?

EXACTLY what I was talking about when I called you an “elitist liberal” ;)

To be fair I know nothing about YOUR education level, but imo you’re a dumbass ;)

Sir, I haven't read what the leftist wrote, because I don't care, but whatever it was, I appreciate your support. And if it matters to anyone, which it should not, I have a liberal arts degree in Bible and Ministry from Harding University in Searcy, AR. GPA 3.73

Education doesn't make you smart, it makes you educated. I know brilliant people who have very little education. I know stupid people with doctorates. If you're an idiot when you go to college, you're likely to be an idiot when you get out. One of the smartest men and best writers I've known had only a 6th grade education.

And since I attended college as an old guy, from age 53-56 (2014-2017), I can attest to the claims that higher education is rife with liberalism. I only went because I wanted a degree in ministry.


ME Someone, Sun, 06/27/2021 - 21:25

"liberal arts degree in Bible and Ministry"

I have no words for how sad this is. A degree in legitimate BS.

" I can attest to the claims that higher education is rife with liberalism"

This is obvious, More educated people tend to think for themselves. Thinking for yourself leads to obvious conclusions.

Notice how Kendal didn't call his supporters "cowards" for not showing their real name, only people against him, interesting huh? Just goes to show you that republican/religious nutjob cult mentality is very strong with this one. He even has a "degree" in religious nutjobbery. Which is worthless, that is why he is a low-grade "writer" for right wing "publications", can't get a real job with a degree in Bullshi*.

Why is it necessary for you to mock the religious beliefs of others is that what you do to make yourself feel more superior?

Aren’t liberals supposed to be tolerant of others’ beliefs? Actually says a lot about how hateful you truly are ;)

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