Wedding Wednesday: Ideas, Budget Advice, and Planning From the Groom's Perspective

Welcome back, I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday!

Last week, I shared four recipes that will feed a family of four for under $40. A number of people told me that they tried one or multiple recipes and thoroughly enjoyed them.

If you missed last week's article, it can be found here.

For today, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, we will discuss wedding planning. I have several DIY tips, budget advice, and tips on where to cut corners. Also, we will hear from two married men who will share their wedding planning experiences and offer advice to the newly engaged men. Typically, the bride handles most of the planning and can sometimes get a little out of control, so this will hopefully help grooms keep things balanced.

For our wedding, my husband and I spent $4,760. That included everything from the venues, the rings, rehearsal dinner, the marriage license, and every last detail that goes into planning a wedding.

We had ten people in our wedding party, plus us of course; and, we had a traditional church wedding with the big reception afterwards. Now, how did we do all of this on such a small budget? Here is how.

Smart Shopping for the Bride

Websites like Brides.com and TheKnot are great...if you and your bride-to-be have a $20,000 budget, just for your ceremony. I found that looking at the popular wedding sites was actually discouraging and slowed down my process. I used Amazon, Ebay, and Etsy for almost everything. For example, I found that it was completely pointless to spend a ridiculous amount of money on real flower petals since they are just going to be dropped on the floor for me to walk over and then thrown away. I was able to get 1,000 faux petals on Amazon for about $20. That was plenty for the flower girl to throw, and plenty to use for décor.

DIY Will Be Your Bride's BFF

Why would you want to pay someone several hundred dollars to put floating candles in decorated mason jars when you can buy everything you need for $55 and do it yourself? During my wedding, I was unsure of how I actually wanted to decorate the tables at our reception, so I used Etsy for ideas. I searched for “rustic wedding centerpieces” and found exactly what I wanted. No need to use a wedding coordinator for this. If your bride is a crafty person, making her own centerpieces might actually be one of the most relaxing parts of her planning process.

A few other things that we chose to decorate or make ourselves were the boutonnières, the invitations, Save-the-Dates, and the cake serving set (I glued the ribbons and “bling” onto it myself). I would have to say that by doing those things myself, I saved at least $800. That leaves more money for the honeymoon, right?

Steer Clear of 5-Tier Cake

Here are a few facts about wedding cakes:

1. They cost way more than they are worth.

2. At least 40 percent of your cake will end up in the trash.

3. I know from experience that one-year-old frozen wedding cake is just not tasty.

Now, with that being said, cakes are essential, especially if you and your fiancé plan to do the traditional “cake in face” at the reception. They also serve as great décor; however, that is mainly what your cake will be for. We had a simple two-tiered cake made for $100. It was made to serve 75 people; we had over 100 people at our reception. Forty percent of the cake went in the trash. Moral of the story, this is not where you want to spend a good chunk of your wedding funds.

Do Not Overlook Small Costs

When planning your wedding budget, everyone thinks about the cost of the dress, the food, and the flowers. However, there are a few costs that many will overlook.

Stamps:

200 save-the-dates plus 200 invitations equals 400 stamps. At 49 cents a stamp, that is $196 just for stamps.

The marriage license:

You would honestly be surprised at how many people forget to figure in this cost. They know they have to have it, but sometimes forget it needs to be part of the wedding budget.

There are many little things that you will need to purchase that may cost $20 here or $30 there. Do not make the mistake of not adding those “small” costs into your budget because they add up very quickly. Chances are, you will have many more little purchases than large ones.

If you and your bride are just now beginning your wedding planning process and are completely lost on where to start, here are few local resources to help:

Shutterbug Photography: Mark Rauterkus took our engagement and wedding photos. He is a friendly guy with great rates. If you are unsure of where you want your engagement photos to be, he has great suggestions on locations and time of day.

Shirley Floral: I had a very small idea of what I wanted for bouquets, but the florist helped me finalize my vision and worked with my budget as well.

Cakes By Rose: Great cake at a very reasonable price. She even made us a small replica of our wedding cake for our first anniversary.

Let's Focus Just on You, The Groom

Like most men, my husband took a backseat to the wedding planning. He had a little bit of input, but most of my planning help came from my bridesmaids and my father; and that really was okay with me.

Chet Bowles, a married resident of San Angelo, also took that approach when he and wife were going through their planning process.

“She just told me where to be and when to be there, and told me there would be beer and whiskey when the thing was over with,” he said. “I wouldn’t say she took over, though. She asked my opinion on several things, and I had some input here and there. It was definitely a give and take process.”

Chet added that the planning was much easier than expected and that he and his wife remained calm through it all.

“There was never one bout between us over the wedding process," he stated. "The planning was great.”

Chet noted that the best advice that he can give to any prospective groom can be summed up in only five words, “Whatever makes you happy, dear.”

Dustin Lawson, however, took the more cliché approach to the wedding planning. He stated, “I helped her choose a spot; I got the guys’ tuxes; and I paid for the marriage license. That’s about it.”

He did not have any decision-making in the planning, but “it was not at all stressful.”

Dustin added, “I expected it to be hectic, but I just didn’t get worked up about it. I just let her do what she wanted to do.”

His advice to the men who are now a part of the wedding planning process is, “Make sure to ask her what she needs help with, but other than that just let her do everything she wants to do.”

The last piece of wedding advice is to remember that getting to the wedding day is not where the work ends; it is only the beginning. The main focus shouldn’t be about that one day; it is about all the days after.

I encourage anyone to share any wedding advice they may have for newly engaged couples. Also, if you are newly engaged, what are your expectations of the planning?

As always, questions, comments, or suggestions may be sent to [email protected].