Kendal Hemphill

The Pope is fed up. Not with everyone, necessarily, although that may be a possibility. And I wouldn’t blame him.

OPINION — Today our subject is People Who Stepped In It, where we will discuss some of the biggest blunders in our country’s history, as judged by two criteria. One, they had to be public blunders that were in the news, so that time I went to Higgenbotham’s lumber yard in Brady and tried to shake a can of paint myself, because everyone who worked there was busy, and I ended up breaking their paint shaking machine doesn’t count. Whew. Sorry about that, by the way.

OPINION — Sometimes this column basically writes itself. Not literally, of course, since I still have to do all the typing, which is kind of a pain. It would be great if I opened up Microsoft Word and found an actual column already typed out, but it doesn’t work that way. For some reason.

OPINION — ‘Did you know if you hold an ermine up to your ear, you can hear what it’s like to be attacked by an ermine?’

‘I was educated once. It took me years to get over it.’ ~ Mark Twain

OPINION — Robert Duvall played the character of Boss Spearman in ‘Open Range.’ When he caught his young hand, Button, cheating during a friendly poker game, he told him, ‘A man’s trust is a valuable thing, Button. You don’t want to lose it for a handful of cards.’

Many Americans (and maybe people from other countries, but who cares?) made New Year’s Resolutions last week. January first is considered a good time to make positive changes in our lives...

My plan was to procrastinate this year, as usual, before finally putting out a Christmas Gift Guide the week before Christmas, when it’s too late to get hold of any of the items I mention.

OPINION — We all know languages change over time. Very few of us, for example, speak the way people did 500 years ago, when Bill Shakespeare wrote screenplays for the BBC, using words like forsooth and wherefore and methinks.

OPINION — Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that CNN, that paragon of integrity in news reporting, has finally figured out what’s causing all the global warming. The bad news is that the culprit is your pet.