SAN ANGELO, TX — Is your Thanksgiving turkey feeling violated? PETA sure hopes so.
As families across the U.S. prepare to feast, PETA has emerged from the shadows with its annual tradition: making everyone at the dinner table feel deeply uncomfortable. This year, their pièce de résistance is a video supposedly showing workers at a Butterball plant engaging in behavior so shocking, even turkeys would be gobbling in disbelief.
On November 5, 2024, PETA tweeted a clip featuring an undercover investigator who claimed to witness what can only be described as “50 Shades of Feathers” at a Butterball facility in Ozark, Arkansas. The accusations? Workers allegedly “humped” turkeys and got overly friendly with their cloacas. Yes, you read that right—turkeys have cloacas, and apparently, some people have boundary issues.
But here’s the kicker: the footage is older than your Thanksgiving leftovers will be next week—dating back almost 20 years. If this were a movie, it would be on VHS and rated “What the Cluck?”
WATCH: San Angelo LIVE!’s James Bouligny interviews PETA’s Jacob Shaw
Naturally, the video set social media on fire, with some swearing off Butterball turkeys forever and others wishing they hadn’t googled “cloaca.” Meanwhile, Butterball maintains its innocence, and the USDA and FDA have issued no recent recalls.
So go ahead, carve that bird, pass the gravy, and maybe don’t mention cloacas at dinner. Unless, of course, Uncle Larry starts talking politics—then all bets are off.
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They humped the turkeys. They've always humped the turkeys. Most of you are too young to know the taste of a turkey that was not sexually assaulted. (Note to SAL: Please do an article about the WW3 brewing in eastern Europe.)
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PermalinkI would not expect a meaningful story on this issue here. However,...
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/nuclear-attack-unlikely-despite-putins-warnings-us-intelligence-says-2024-11-27/
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PermalinkOur leaders are full of oxytocin battered leftovers if they don't think Putin will eventually push that big red nuke button. Russian propaganda has consistently been slightly more accurate than Western propaganda throughout the war—the latter having persistently reassured us it was going to be over any minute now. If the Ruskies say there's a chance something might happen, then the probability of it occurring isn't zero. The fact that they don't think he'll drop a nuke will probably be the very reason Putin is eventually cornered into doing so.
If Jack Van Impe was still on the air to make his wild, apocalyptic predictions, he'd probably luck out with this one about a "king from the east."
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