Are Holiday Blues a Myth?

The holidays are here, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah have passed, and Christmas is fast approaching.

Events pile up: office Christmas parties, other Christmas parties, finishing up extra work to be ahead once it is time to take off, and of course shopping for presents.

There are many expectations for decorations, cards, hosting duties, and the expectation that everyone should be happy because it’s Christmas.

But all the stresses and expectations can leave one feeling anxiety, loneliness and or depression, and spending too much money, going over budget, or forgetting to buy everyone a gift drive some crazy or send them spiraling into a financial depression.

“People have an idea of what is supposed to be in their heads,” explained Tristi Lee Patterson, Clinical Director and Counselor at West Texas Counseling and Guidance. “What usually happens after the holidays is without all the craziness. Everything hits them, she says

“They often feel socially stressed out with so many events to go to that they tend to put all feeling on the back burner,” said Patterson.

In the quiet of the New Year when all the festivities are over and life has returned to a semblance of normalcy, feelings start creeping back in.

“A general feeling of sadness and not knowing why, emptiness,” Patterson described the feelings expressed to her by those suffering from depression. At this point, those who will seek help, do so in January.

 “After everything settles down we see an increase of people coming in,” said Patterson. “New clients coming in tend to wait till after the New Year.”

Sometimes the added burden of New Year’s Resolutions come into play, when people don’t see how they can change something that needs changing in their mind.

In that same vein, the hectic schedules and unhealthy eating habits many people exhibit during the holidays contribute to depression as well.

Patterson explains that halting exercise and healthy eating habits will contribute to an overall feeling of sadness, and aside from those stressors, loneliness is also a major factor.

“Also when people experience a loss during the holidays,” Patterson explained, “things will never be the same.”

Those who are dealing with their first Christmas without a parent, sibling, or any other close friend or family member commonly experience many emotions around the holiday, and depression is a big one.

At the same time, those who can’t be home with their families can fall into a rut of depression when Christmas isn’t the same anymore. Loneliness is a major contributor to the holiday blues, sais Patterson, despite treatment not being sought.

Patterson explains that many suffering from holiday depression are good at masking it. There are things that one can look for, however.

“Always look for someone who is withdrawing,” Patterson said. “Look and see if someone isn’t’ acting like themselves and doesn’t want to be a part of things like they normally would.”

Despite suicide rates being the highest in April, rather than the commonly believed December, Patterson does not treat it lightly.

“If someone voices thoughts of hurting themselves you want to listen to that,” she emphasized heavily.

If there is someone that is suffering from depression, Patterson has a few tips for friends and family to help.

“Asking if there is something you can do to help relieve the stress of the holidays,” she said. “Offering to to just be there on an emotional level and if there’s something they need to talk about.”

Something that might be a little out of the idea box from some people when they think of depression is altruism and volunteering.

“If you notice someone that is feeling depressed, get them out of the house to do something volunteer,” Patterson explained.

For many, helping others is a de-stressing activity that helps them feel good about themselves and helps with depression. If one wants to try and preemptively ward off holiday depression, Patterson has a few suggestions.

“The first thing is to be realistic, to realize the holidays don’t have to be perfect,” she explained. “Realizing that families change and families grow.”

When it comes to difficulties within families causing stress, she suggests working it out.

“Setting aside differences if people can’t get along,” Patterson advised. “It’s like planning ahead to have a neutral response to things, maybe saying ‘let’s talk after the holidays.’”

When families are not actively fighting, or holding on to negative emotions, it causes less stress on both parties.

To help with financial woes, she suggests making a budget to stick with, therefore avoiding over-spending on Christmas items.

As a final note of advice, Patterson emphasized keeping drinking to a minimum. Alcohol is a depressant known to exacerbate depression rather than alleviate it.

“There’s always counseling available,” Patterson reiterated.

For counseling, call West Texas Counseling and Guidance at 325-944-2561