Reliant Will Hand Out Lighted Santa Hats at Tree Lighting Ceremony

That straws are the imminent demise of civilization as we know it. Be sure to get the paper cup.... no straw.

I was here when it was still Mexico. I remember I was so happy when cereal was invented because before that you had to get what nutrition you could from small rocks and moss. Before I walked over the land bridge to Alaska I used to live in Egypt and I would walk uphill for 15 miles every day in the hot sun freezing from the snow and in the rain with no umbrella just to move sand and chisel blocks of rock. Then I had to walk home uphill another 15 miles and after the workers took off through the red sea I had to sleep on the job site and the gosh darn (excuse my language) hyenas would bite my feet. Got tired a that and headed north to look for work and was sailing with some Scandinavian dudes till we made it here and I moved around a bit.

Then they came out with cornflakes. Best thing since chicken. They are not like velociraptors and the eggs are much better but they will also chase you if you aren't careful. Thank God for cornflakes.

Rita:

I suspect few here would understand the Lovecraftian creation Cthulhu or any of the other Old Ones, let alone their implications regarding humanity's concepts of self.

Nice try, though.

Neither do I.